Adult Children of Alcoholics
Growing up with a parent's addiction can shape you in ways you might not fully recognise until adulthood. Hyper-vigilance, people-pleasing or difficulty trusting may have been ways of coping that made sense then, but may be holding you back now.
For adult children of alcoholics, and anyone who grew up with a parent's drinking or drug use, Rebecca Mistry offers therapy that looks at how those early family experiences may still affect your relationships, even if your parent is still drinking or using today. You can see her at The Blossom Tree Clinic, Suite 2, 6A Love Lane, Pinner HA5 3EF, or online. The fees page lists the cost of each kind of session.
Growing up around addiction
The effects of growing up in a family affected by addiction can continue into adulthood. You may find yourself always looking after others, struggling to trust people, avoiding conflict, or feeling responsible for everyone's wellbeing.
Together we can explore how early family experiences may still be influencing your relationships, sense of self and ways of coping today. Patterns from childhood may show up as:
- Difficulty trusting people, especially in intimate relationships
- A deep need for control — or a fear of it
- People-pleasing at the expense of your own needs
- Hyper-vigilance: always scanning for danger or disapproval
- Difficulty identifying or expressing your own emotions
- Repeating relationship patterns that echo your childhood
- Shame about your family that you've never fully articulated
What therapy offers
Systemic therapy looks at patterns passed down through a family — not to blame your parents, but to understand how your family may have shaped you. With that understanding, you can think about what you'd like to do differently.
We might explore your family of origin, the roles you played, the stories you were told (and the ones no one talked about). We'll look at how those patterns show up in your current relationships and what you want to be different.
What you hope for may change over time — from hoping a parent would stop, to smaller, more sustainable hopes for your own life. Thinking about that can be part of the work.
Common questions
I'm an adult now — can therapy really help with something from childhood?
Yes, it's something you can work on in therapy. Ways of coping you learned as a child — people-pleasing, hyper-vigilance, difficulty trusting, fear of conflict — may still be with you as an adult. Together we can look at where they come from and what you'd like to change.
Is this the same as trauma therapy?
It can overlap. I work in a trauma-informed way, meaning we go at your pace and I never push you to revisit anything before you're ready.
My parent is still drinking. Can I still work on this?
Absolutely. You don't need your parent to change — or even acknowledge the problem — to start therapy. The work is about you: your patterns, your relationships, your life now.
When you're ready to start
A free consultation is a chance to talk about where you'd like to begin.
Book a Free Consultation