Specialism
Family Therapy for Addiction
When someone you love is drinking, using drugs or gambling, the whole family feels it. Family therapy gives you — and anyone else in the family who wants to come — a place to understand what is happening, look after yourselves, and find ways of responding that are more likely to help. The person who is drinking or using doesn't have to take part.
I'm Rebecca Mistry, a qualified systemic and family psychotherapist. Before I trained as a psychotherapist, I spent 15 years working with families affected by substance use — in the NHS, the voluntary sector, HM Prison Service and statutory Children's Services. I see people in person at The Blossom Tree Clinic in Pinner, and online.
Who it's for
Family therapy for addiction is for anyone whose life is affected by someone else's drinking, drug use or gambling — and for people in recovery, and the families adjusting with them. I work with:
- partners — When your partner is drinking or using
- parents of a teenager or adult child who is using — When your child or young adult is using
- adults who grew up with a parent's drinking or drug use — Adult children of alcoholics
- brothers and sisters — Siblings affected by addiction
- people grieving someone who is still here, or who has died — Loss, grief and ambiguous loss
- families rebuilding trust after addiction — Recovery and relationships
- anyone caught between helping and enabling — Codependency, helping vs enabling and boundaries
You can come on your own, as a couple, or with other members of your family. For support for you as a family member, see Support for families affected by addiction.
Questions families ask
Does the person who is drinking or using need to come?
No. I often work with family members on their own. A change in one part of a family can make a difference to everyone, and your own wellbeing matters in its own right. If they want to join later, we can talk about that together.
What is CRAFT?
CRAFT stands for Community Reinforcement and Family Training. It's an evidence-based approach that helps family members respond to a loved one's drinking or drug use in ways that look after their own wellbeing and make positive change more likely — without confrontation. I draw on it alongside systemic family therapy. A 2010 review of four randomised trials found that CRAFT encouraged about two-thirds of people who had refused treatment to attend it — more often than the other approaches it was compared with.
Is it my fault?
No. You didn't cause someone else's drinking or drug use, and you can't control it. What you can change is how you respond — and that can make a real difference, for you and for them.
What if they aren't ready to change?
You can still come. Therapy can help you look after yourself, set boundaries you can keep, and respond in ways that keep the door open — whether or not they are ready.
Will you tell me to leave, or to cut them off?
No. Therapy isn't about telling you what to do. It's a space to think through your situation honestly and make decisions that feel right for you and your family.
Can family therapy work alongside other treatment?
Yes. It can sit alongside individual counselling, groups such as Al-Anon or 12-step programmes, and treatment services. It focuses on the relationships around the addiction.
What about gambling or other addictions?
Families affected by gambling and other addictive behaviours are welcome, as well as families affected by drinking or drug use.
Is it confidential?
Yes, within safeguarding limits, which I'll explain clearly at the start.
More about CRAFT: What is CRAFT? · Source for the 2010 review: Roozen, de Waart and van der Kroft, Addiction, 2010
My background in addiction and families
For 15 years before I trained as a psychotherapist, I worked with families affected by substance use, in prison and community settings: at Change, Grow, Live, Forward Trust, Cranstoun Drug Services, VIA and Turning Point, within HM Prison Service, and for statutory Children's Services.
I co-created and delivered family programmes including Family Ties and Relationships Matter, and facilitated Family Man and Fathers Inside, as well as the nationally recognised M-PACT (Moving Parents and Children Together).
My research explores how hope is experienced and sustained by families affected by addiction — not as a feeling you either have or don't, but as something done and shared within relationships. Hope can be held by others when you can't hold it yourself. That idea runs through how I work.
I draw on systemic family therapy, CRAFT, the 5-Step Method, trauma-informed practice, motivational interviewing and the Stress-Strain-Coping-Support model — choosing what fits your family rather than following one model rigidly.
“There's an unmistakable sense of Rebecca's ethical values — a belief in the goodness in people, even when they do bad things; a belief in people's and families' capacity to change, to repair and to recover. Our hope has increased greatly.”
— Parents of a young adult in recovery from substance use
What sessions are like
Sessions last 50 minutes for one person, 75 minutes for a couple and 90 minutes for a family, usually every two to four weeks. We decide together who comes, and that can change as we go. More on how I work.
- In person: at The Blossom Tree Clinic, Suite 2, 6A Love Lane, Pinner HA5 3EF. The clinic says it is a 3-minute walk from Pinner Underground station, with bus stops on the High Street for routes H12, H13 and 183, and street parking outside, free for the first hour, and Love Lane Car Park a 2-minute walk up the road. It is on the first floor, up one flight of stairs, with no lift.
- Online: by secure video, anywhere in the UK — useful when family members live in different places.
What family therapy can and can't do
It can help you understand the patterns that have grown up around the addiction, look after your own wellbeing, set boundaries you can keep, and talk to each other in ways that are more likely to help.
It can't make someone stop drinking or using, and no one can promise how things will turn out. It isn't a replacement for medical help.
I'm not able to offer crisis support. If someone's life is at risk, call 999 or go to A&E now. For urgent help with your mental health in England, get help from 111 online or call 111 and select the mental health option. NHS: where to get urgent help for mental health.
Fees
An individual session (50 minutes) is £70, a couples session (75 minutes) £95 and a family session (90 minutes) £120. The initial consultation (15–20 minutes) is free. I keep a small number of reduced-fee places for people on lower incomes. Please ask. See fees.
How to book
Tell me a little about what's happening using the contact form. I usually reply within 24 hours, and can typically offer a free initial consultation within a week. If it feels right, we'll book a first session. There's no pressure.
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