In a first family therapy session, I'll explain how sessions work and what stays confidential, then ask each person what has brought you, what has been happening and what you'd like to be different. Nobody is blamed or put on the spot, and you don't have to prepare anything.
Feeling nervous beforehand is completely normal. Here is what happens, so there are no surprises.
Before the session
Before we meet, we'll have had a brief phone or video call, so I know a little about what's happening and who will come — and you can ask me anything.
On the day, you come to The Blossom Tree Clinic, Suite 2, 6A Love Lane, Pinner HA5 3EF, or join online by secure video. The clinic is on the first floor, up one flight of stairs, with no lift. At the top of the stairs, signs direct you to the clinic. Take a seat in the waiting room, and I'll come out to meet you.
The first ten minutes: settling in
I welcome everyone and explain how the session will work, including confidentiality — what stays in the room and what doesn't. My role isn't to take sides or decide who is right; it's to help the family understand what is happening between you. I'll check how everyone feels about being there. Relieved, sceptical, reluctant — all of those are fine.
The main conversation
I'll ask each person, for example: What has brought you here? How long has this been going on? What have you already tried? What would you most like to be different? Everyone gets a chance to speak, and if things get heated, I'll keep the conversation safe and useful.
Some questions may feel unusual — "What would your daughter notice was different if things improved?" Questions like this, which are part of systemic family therapy, help people step outside their usual positions.
What I won't do
- Blame anyone, or decide who is "the problem"
- Make anyone speak before they're ready
- Take sides
- Give you a diagnosis
- Ask you to do anything that feels unsafe
The last ten minutes
I'll share a few first reflections — themes, patterns, and strengths your family can build on — and we'll talk about whether further sessions would help. There's no pressure to decide on the day. If we continue, sessions are usually every two to four weeks.
Common worries
"What if someone gets upset?"
Tears are normal and welcome. There is no judgement about showing emotion.
"What if my teenager won't speak?"
That's fine. Sometimes I talk with parents first and let the young person listen. Often they join in when they realise they won't be lectured. See family therapy for teenagers.
"What if it makes things worse?"
A first session can stir things up — not because therapy made things worse, but because things that were avoided are being said. I'll keep the pace manageable.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long is a session?
Family sessions are 90 minutes, couples sessions 75 minutes and individual sessions 50 minutes.
How should I prepare?
You don't need to. It helps to think about what you'd like to be different, but you don't need a speech. I'll guide the conversation.
Can I come on my own first?
Yes. Many people have an individual session first, before involving other family members.