When Your Child or Young Adult Is Using
Finding out your child is using drugs or drinking heavily can be frightening. You may feel scared, angry and unsure what to do. Help is available — for them, and for you.
Rebecca Mistry works with parents of a teenager or young adult who is drinking or using drugs, drawing on systemic family therapy and the CRAFT approach. Sessions are at The Blossom Tree Clinic, Suite 2, 6A Love Lane, Pinner HA5 3EF, or online, and parents can start on their own, with their child joining later if they're ready. What each session costs is on the fees page, and the initial consultation (15–20 minutes) is free.
When you're worried about your child
Perhaps you've noticed changes in your child's behaviour, mood, friendships, routines, or interests. Maybe communication has become more difficult, trust feels strained, or you're increasingly concerned about choices they're making.
As a parent, you want to protect your child from harm and help them make safer decisions. Yet you may find yourself walking a difficult line between supporting, guiding and setting limits, while trying to keep your relationship with your child.
The uncertainty can be exhausting, and it can affect the whole family, putting pressure on relationships, routines and family life. You may want to understand what is contributing to your child's behaviour. Together we can look at the wider picture — friendships, developmental stage, emotional wellbeing, family relationships and life experiences — to build a fuller understanding of what may be happening, and to think about how to respond.
How I work with parents
I draw on systemic family therapy and the CRAFT approach. Together, we might work on how to:
- Understand the wider influences that may be shaping your child's behaviour
- Keep communication and connection going during difficult conversations
- Develop boundaries that are clear, consistent and sustainable
- Recognise which responses are helpful and which may unintentionally maintain unhelpful patterns
- Support siblings and consider the impact on the wider family
- Take care of your own wellbeing during a stressful and demanding time
- Encourage change while keeping your relationship with your child
More about the approach: What is CRAFT?
You are not failing
You may carry a lot of guilt, replaying every decision and wondering what you did wrong. Therapy is a place to talk about that guilt without judgement, and to focus on what is happening now.
What you can do is look at how you respond, and that is something we can work on together.
Common questions
My teenager is using drugs — is it too late for family therapy?
No. You can start family therapy at any stage — from early warning signs, to active substance use, to recovery.
Should I search their room or phone?
There's no single right answer — it depends on their age, the level of risk, and your relationship. Therapy is a place to think these decisions through, rather than acting from panic.
Is it my fault my child uses drugs?
No. Therapy isn't about finding someone to blame. We can look at the wider picture of what may be going on for your child, and focus on how you respond now.
Will my child need to come to sessions?
Not necessarily. I can work with parents on their own, especially at the start. Your child can join later, if and when they're ready.
You don't have to figure this out alone
A free consultation is a safe place to start talking about what's happening.
Book a Free Consultation